Last Will and Testament... RIP buddy

So I think it'll go a little like this:

Me: "Carl hey !!!" (Big hug) "God i've missed you!"
Carl: "ssssshhhhh, you can't just say god, like that... she'll answer you"
Me: "So how the hell did we get here?, what's been going on?"
Carl: "uurrrrrggghhh RICH ! watch your mouth!"
Me: "Why it isn't going anywhere! , hehehe... oh,... They wouldn't send me downstairs for something like cursing after all the shit i did  when i was a live! , would they?"
Carl: "hummph, rich, SHE is god - Need i say anymore?"

Just then a dizzying light and lound bang sends us reeling and we awake with individual pains in the ass and on the cheek!

Me: "Are you sure this is paradise?"
Carl: "She ain't Mormon... Let's change the subject, How's Rob and his war/conspiracy stories? How's the family?"
Me: "Rob's still the bud man! The family is still alive, The jokes on them! The freakin freeloaders! What are they going to do now? hahaha!"
Carl: "You haven't changed at all..."
Me: "Damn right and i'd like to know what was up with that 600,000$ you left me in the will you didn't sign? The dollar hasn't been worth anything since just after you died but it certainly would have been nice... You know your freakin kids fought over what was left even after they each got their million and they left your wife high and dry! - they even stole the wedding ring you gave her in the days she was mourning after you died! And what was that stupid fucking Atkins diet about? You smoked for 50 years and the week after you start an Atkins diet they find a tumor? Dude, small coincidence or what?"
Carl: "yeah well what can i say, it all happened so quickly. I was really happy with Nancy, pretty ironic we didn't have much time together. I think the russian prostiitute in paris you introduced me to had something to do with my untimely death."
Me: "I did not introduce you! I merely said she was the one for you as she was walking by. She fit all your requirements and i didn't know she was a prostitute! I wasn't the one that fell in love with her either. You didn't have to take her all around the world. I don't care if she had the perfect pussy. Love and sex are two different things!"

CRASSSSHHHHHH Then a dizzzying light and i wake with a tube down my throat, cold all over with machine noises blaring and two very surprized french Medics standing over me with greasy silver/rusty paddles.

ME: FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!